"Hello. I'm the certified Backyard Seed-Checker. Yes, I'm reporting for duty to assist you with seed quality management."
"Hmm. Ummm. Crunchy. Yes. Good. Not too dry; not mildewed."
"What do you mean, I'm not a bird? That's the point, I'm here to protect your birds."
"Now, you don't want me to remove your A rating do you?"